By Robert C. Solomon
Romantic love could commence with sexual ardour, however it is guided and nurtured by means of principles the enthusiasts have approximately their selves and the realm, in response to this collage of Texas philosophy professor. Solomon defines romantic love as an emotional procedure that's reciprocal and acceptable in simple terms among equals. A lover may well supplement what's top in us, embrace values we proportion or motivate beliefs we attempt after. In any occasion, love endures merely while it forges a conceptual bond, every person viewing the other's life as essential to entire one's self. during this clever, witty, adventurous essay, Solomon sheds mild on love at the start sight, no matter if opposites allure, counterfeit emotion, the euphemism (and act) of ""sleeping together,'' possessiveness, the necessity of fans for privateness and the significance of fights in a fit dating. His re-visioning of affection favors Plato's idea of the merger of 2 souls over Freud's view of affection as sublimated erotic feeling.
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Additional resources for About Love: Reinventing Romance for our Times
But most of all, the drama of love, the drama in love, is the result of spontaneity. Love appears unannounced, suddenly, THE ELUSIVE EMOTION 47 often inappropriately, even disastrously. It is an emotion that is curiously severed from and even antithetical to our ordinary civil routines. It is an emotion-coupled with our vanity, pride and obstinacy-that thrives on opposition and implausibility. But spontaneity does not mean passivity, and suddenness does not mean unpreparedness. We are never mere victims of love.
Sexuality "fits" into different societies in different ways, and conceptions of love and marriage vary accordingly. However necessary heterosexual intercourse may be to the preservation of every society, sexual desire is virtually never limited to this reproductive end. It is almost always tied to a network of philosophical ideas, whether the Platonic conception that all desire is ultimately a desire for Goodness and Beauty, the medieval doctrine that intimacy represents the union with God or the late Romantic philosophy that sex is the life force of the universe flowing through us all.
In societies where marriages are arranged, or, less formally, marriage is dictated within an established framework of social, religious and economic expectations, there is very limited room for choice and, consequently, very little room for romantic love. Most forms of love, we should note, are "prescribed," set by one's situation. One does not choose one's (literal) brother or sister; one finds oneself in a family and makes the emotional best of it. Brotherly and sisterly love take years to develop.
About Love: Reinventing Romance for our Times by Robert C. Solomon